There's only one city in the world in which I have as much fun eating as "The Big Easy" (New Orleans) and that's PARIS. As a native (born and bred) New Orleanian, you can't expect me to admit to anything else . . . however . . . GOING NATIVE is what I'd like to talk about.

When I'm in New Orleans, I like to "hit" the restaurants that only the natives know about. They're the ones on neighborhood streets, usually with no particularly special decor, very affordable menus and fantastic food. Of course, I could go on and on and on about dining in New Orleans, but I'll save that for another time. For now, let's talk about "going native" in Paris.

How does a non-native go native? Aside from becoming French, (which is impossible for an American, even if you've lived here 25 years -- this is another topic entirely), you can, with some practice, dine like the Parisians dine, in restaurants the Parisians dine in, order the dishes Parisians order and behave as much as possible like a Parisian.

So, let's take that in order.

1. Dining like the Parisians dine . . .

This is easy. Eat only one large meal a day, either at lunch or dinner. Breakfast doesn't count as a real meal and usually consists of just a café creme and either a croissant or tartine (bread and butter). Dine about 1 p.m. for lunch or about 9 p.m. for dinner. Be sure to take at least two hours or more to dine if you can spare it. Dining is an experience in Paris, not just something you do to satisfy hunger!

2. Dine in restaurants the Parisians dine in . . .

Aah. This takes a little more research. If you have a good guide in hand (such as my own Insider Paris Guide for Good Value Restaurants), or if you have a very good nose for sniffing out the neighborhood spots, then you can do pretty well. Here are some hints to finding "native" dining spots:

Do you hear English being spoken in the restaurant? If more than one quarter of the diners sound as if they are speaking English, consider crossing it off your list. Recently I reviewed a restaurant near Place de la Concorde that normally has good write-ups in many guide books and is very reasonably priced - but I found only 2 French speakers among the 60 or so diners and while I like my fellow compatriots quite a lot, I couldn't help but wonder why the locals aren't patronizing it! I knew the answer when both my first and second courses were inedible!

Does the menu offer any "offals" (liver, brain, and other "parts)? If yes, that's a good sign they're not catering to tourists. Many restaurants that offer low priced menus serve offals because they are less expensive cuts of meat, but in France they are considered delicacies. Be adventuresome while you're in this beautifully elegant city and try a few things you've never had before . . . Salade de Gesiers (salad with sauteed chicken gizards) or Ris de Veau (veal sweetbreads or thymus gland) or Langue de Boeuf (beef tongue).

Is the menu written in French and English? Be cautious. This isn't ALWAYS a bad sign. It just means that anglophones do dine there, but the translations for French preparations are not always very good. So, you're safer learning how to read a menu in French than depending on the English version. You can always keep a small dictionary handy or just ask the waiter if you're not sure of what you're ordering. If you like to eat as much as I do, then you'll realize this is the most important vocabulary you can learn!

Is the restaurant located on a main thoroughfare and have a big neon sign? Definitely out. Fancy locations mean big rents. Big rents mean big overhead. Big overhead means overpriced food. If they have to work so hard to get you in, then you don't need to go in at all.

Is there more than one or two of the same restaurant in other parts of the city? If so, forget it. Need I say more? A chain is a chain is a chain and what you'll get is chain food.

Are there lace curtains in the windows? This is my favorite good sign and I have absolutely no logic to it! It just seems that most of the restaurants I have discovered with wonderfully warm ambience, great food and reasonable prices to have lace curtains.

Is the menu posted out front hand-written or appear to change frequently? Great news -- could be a winner. Assume that the owner/chef changes the menu frequently. Assume that they didn't have a lot of money to spend on printing. Assume that they prefer the traditional style of putting fountain pen to paper in a beautiful French penmanship. Just make sure the menu doesn't appear as if the same piece of paper has been in that little box for about 20 years!

3. Order the dishes the Parisians order . . .

Parisians don't worry about fat grams, low sodium, high cholesterol, or other "health risks." (Maybe that's why they live longer, weigh less and have fewer heart problems.) So, go right ahead and order the Saumon a la Creme Oseille, Salad aux Lardons, Frites, Confit de Canard and anything else that sounds delicious. Order all three courses: entree, plat, dessert. Order wine and coffee. Have it all and don't feel GUILTY (the most important thing)!

4. Behave as much as possible like a Parisian . . .

This can be a little more difficult for US Americans. That means speaking very softly. That means using both your knife and fork at the same time (one in each hand). That means keeping both hands above the table, but not flailing them about as you speak.

That means not picking up a single thing with your fingers -- except that piece of bread which must sit directly on the table (not on your plate), but that you must use a fork to spear it with if you want to sop up the sauce. That means folding that huge lettuce leaf instead of cutting it. That means dressing as if you have an important business meeting. That means waiting for the waiter to serve you in his own leisurely Parisian time.

That means eating every drop on your plate. That means not passing your plate around for everyone to taste. And last but not least, that means asking for "l'addition" when you're ready to leave (they won't bring you the check until you ask for it).

I've been "going native" now for 5 solid years and for 5 solid years I have discovered the most wonderful little Paris neighborhood restaurants at the most wonderful little prices. If this method can work for me, it can surely work for you, too. So, do it -- go native in Paris!

Here are a few restaurant gems from The Insider Paris Guide for Good Value Restaurants that fit the bill (great food, very inexpensive, charming atmosphere):

Bon Appétit!
Adrian