PASSIONS RUN HIGH
by Pascal Jacquelin

Part VI in a series...

What has been going on between France and the U.S. over the past few weeks has undeniably very much to do with passion. Not in the sense of love, though, but more in the sense of uncontrolled emotion. When it comes to Franco-American relations, rational behavior regrettably seems to be a scarce occurrence these days.

Similarities

Let us start with some similarities between France and the US. France is an old and wealthy democracy and our citizens enjoy, on the whole, a fairly high standard of living. This often tends to make us behave like spoiled brats - nothing to be particularly proud of.

As for taking pride in being an old democracy, I find this quite irrelevant, not to mention unconvincing, and I would like to remind you of Sir Winston's Churchill's enlightening view on the subject: "Many forms of government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except all those others that have been tried from time to time."

The French have a very strong (some might say swollen) sense of national pride. National pride is a wonderful and indispensable thing for the coherence of a country, but when it becomes extreme it is generally the sign that everybody's thought process has been impaired, generally as a result of propaganda.

Now, how can the French be so proud of their democracy when our president has not really been elected by the people? Chirac's ridiculous "landslide" victory was the sign that most French voters had been too lazy to vote in the first round and were suddenly made to realize that extremist regimes are very often brought to power by the people!

This reminds me of a line in a British sitcom: "Democracy is a fine thing. So why give it to the people?"

You will find Americans who are anti-French and French people who are anti-American for no real reason. They belong to the small but scary percentage of people who are satisfied with oversimplification and ready-made ideas. But they are absolutely not representative of the whole population.

Differences

Regardless of the obvious conflicts of interests between our heads of states, it appears to me that two cultural differences can partly account for what is going on between our two peoples.

Firstly, France is not exposed to a lot of violence -- very few people own weapons, and the idea is abhorrent to many.

Secondly, capital punishment was abolished in 1981 in France. Hence, killing someone who has committed a murder is not regarded in France as a rightful way to deal with the problem.

Let us not argue which position is better. That would be an exercise in futility since the topic is highly controversial, including within the U.S. or France. However, that is the way things stand at present from a legal point of view.

We should therefore bear in mind that our two countries differ on those two points and that it might affect the way we evaluate policies towards war with Iraq.

Psychological Factors

A characteristic of the human brain is that it cannot consciously process a large amount of information at the same time, so we filter the information in three ways: we generalize, we select and we distort.

Here's how it has worked so far in the case of the Franco-American conflict. The situation has been simplified by calling the dangerous networks of terrorists the "Axis of Evil." In fact, George W. Bush first referred to his policy as a "crusade" against evil.

It reeks of religious overtones. After all, the crusades were bloody wars, sometimes motivated by economic interests. And what is Jihad (holy war for Muslims) but a crusade?

This positioning implies that it represents Good. As a result, in this oversimplified view of the world, any country not taking part in the U.S. alliance could be suspected of "siding with the Devil." No wonder some could think that being against an attack on Iraq is a support of Saddam Hussein and terrorism.

Generalization is also at work when people mistake heads of states for their citizens. Not all French people are fashioned in the image of the president. Thank goodness for that!

Americans were viciously attacked on their own soil, the country felt violated and innocent people died as a result. This kind of situation brings about three normal reactions: fear, anger and group cohesion.

It all starts with fear. The unexpected attacks which killed several thousand people made every Amercian feel unsafe.

The second phase is anger. Anger always stems from fear. Anger is meant to frighten off the attacker. In this case however, the attacker is multifarious, but people need to direct their anger at something or someone specific.

Anger is a useful way to vent one's feelings but when someone is angry, their perception of reality is altered for anger is, to some extent, a lack of control. Reasoning with people who are angry is generally a waste of time.

First you have to reassure them and help them regain their composure before you can negotiate with them. A very difficult task indeed! Anything you might say is bound to add fuel to the fire, especially since, when a country feels under attack, its people band together.

Acting as a group is certainly a normal and healthy reaction in times of crisis. But it also means that people's analytical skills will be suspended for a while and their evaluation of the situation will be determined by the group.

Influence

What has prompted private individuals to react so violently? My friend Adrian Leeds received hundreds of messages after she recounted her participation in an anti-war demonstration. The attacks were vicious and sometimes even personal. Why such remarks?

In Transactional Analysis (a theory of personality), remarks about who you are as a person are called "unconditional strokes." A negative unconditional stroke is always offending: "You're stupid! You're ugly!" The point is not to objectively inform somebody of his shortcomings but to shake the opponent's confidence by stating a characteristic that the person cannot change. Kids do this all the time!

Why was Adrian's expression of her beliefs challenged in such an inappropriate manner? She was not being a traitor to her country -- she was merely exercising a right which is clearly spelled out in the Constitution. Disagreeing is part and parcel of the Democratic process.

A lot of arguments were advanced to justify the positions of each faction. Justified or not, we should all pause and ask ourselves whether these arguments were the mere regurgitation of what we got from our national media. Be very wary of what you hear and read -- there are always hidden agendas.

Gratitude

Several American newspapers reproached France for its ingratitude for the U.S. intervention during World War II. This is the perfect illustration of what is called the "reciprocity principle." People always feel they are duty-bound to return a favor. This means that you can obligate people into doing something for you by doing them a favor first and making them feel indebted to you.

The question is actually not how grateful the French are but to whom they should be grateful. Raised in Suresnes in the Paris suburbs, I lived right next to the American Memorial and Cemetery, so I was constantly reminded of what I owed the soldiers who helped liberate France.

If you start using the past as a justification or a threat, then today's Germans should be held responsible for the atrocities committed during the war. Similarly, if one of your ancestors had been a murderer, you would have to pay for his/her crime.

The fact still remains that the French are very grateful for what American soldiers did for France. I offer a small example: my friend Peter, a forty-something American who lives in Paris, went to his butcher's a few years ago on the anniversary of the American landing in Normandy. As a sign of gratitude, the butcher gave Peter his meat for free and said how thankful he was for America's intervention. It might not have been much but it shows that the French have not forgotten.

I have quite a number of American friends in France and not known one of them to have ever been a victim of anti-American sentiment. The French might be partial to debate and confrontation, but we are not a hateful or ungrateful people!

Conflict Resolution

One thing I always teach in my training programs is that you should always separate the people from the problem. In this case, one should define the issues precisely and not systematically ascribe evil intentions to the other party.

One thing is certain: causing conflict between our two countries certainly is no way to find a solution to the problem of terrorism, which, by the way, is the real issue at stake.

We must analyze what role our emotions are playing and to what extent we are being the mouthpieces of our leaders or merely regurgitating ideas gleaned from biased media. We should consider any Franco-American interaction as a negotiation and treat the other party as an equal, not an enemy.

I sincerely hope that our current differences are more akin to siblings bickering than to a couple on the brink of divorce and that the passion currently expressed on both sides of the Atlantic will not be all-consuming.

A Word to the Wise

A final word of advice on effective communication which applies to everyone: there can be no communication if anger gets in the way. And don't forget that you have to listen first if you're ever to be understood!

About the Author

Pascal Jacquelin of Delta Training, has over 15 years' experience under his belt both as a translator and a trainer. At the age of 17 while pursuing his translation degree, he was quickly singled out for his exceptional linguistic abilities and had no difficulty finding a job as an English teacher and translator with a major language school in Paris. His eagerness to diversify his experience led him to move on to teaching young adults. After passing the prestigious Agrégation teaching diploma with flying colors (he came in 10th in France), he worked his way up as course organizer in a fast-expanding university outside Paris where he taught Translation, Business Negotiation and Public Speaking for five years.

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